barriers

College.. is funny.

Seriosuly, it breaks down the barriers of high school. Those, superficial, unimportant, barriers between friends that made the jocks not hang out with the nerds or the drama peops with the overahieving national honor society group. college has allowed me to be friends with so many people that I would have never dreamed of being friends with in high school.

Actually, scratch that. I think that's really other people because for myself, I was a friend nomad. I bounced from group to group in high school, searching for "my" group of friends. I went from the preppy honor society kids to the hispanics to the pothead that hackeysack to the cool asians that partied to the asians in pingpong club that played card games all the time.

yep, that was me. and now, finally in college, i've found a group i finally call my own.

freedom

give me a little bit of FREEDOM and I will run with it.
I have not lived at my house for more than 2 continuous weeks since I reached college.
It's just not the same.

I want to wash the dishes when I want.
I want to watch whatever I want on tv.
I want to not have to think about if others are watching me.

Studying

We are here as students cause God said that we should be students.
Yet, I cannot study. I know I am not made to study, do tests, write papers, work hard on cases.

Then why am I here in school.
Why God WHY?

I think it's cause I'm here to be a social butterfly and to meet people. It's for networking. So that I can find some rich man here and not need to work a day of my life.

I see. Thanks God.

PG Fun

What happened to the days of good clean fun?

Why does fun always mean drinking nowadays? Not that I don't have fun drinking either. Isn't it just a sect of fun but not fun itself?

Good clean fun =
eating
talking
mafia
guitar hero
hookah
mario
basketball

What's wrong with that

selfish

How could I be so selfish?
People think I'm so giving... I'm not.

grrrr. i regret this morning. sorry

Defintely think I chose the wrong concentration. FML

greatness

i like to be in control. i like to be good at everything i do.... actually great. i don't normally specialize since I try so many things. that's maybe why i'm somewhat well-rounded because I'm open to trying new things and once I do it, I get hooked onto it til I become somewhat good. no. great. It annoys me if I'm not.

2 things I want to work on being better:
1) better spokesman for christianity
2) better at korean.. so sad for president

senioritis

i've caught this disease... is it curable?

all i wanna do is frolick around boston for the last year and play with friends. i wanna go out to bars and eat ramen at 2 am.

why is this looked down upon... school would be so much better without homework. and tests.

Globe Traveler

This summer.. I have been racking up the mileage.. both by road and air. After being in norcal, socal, new orleans, and now hawaii... I can't believe how fortunate I am for being able to go around and having people drive me around. My family thinks it's so wonderful to have friends all over the place. My parents joked that their kids are international.. though not really... but since we're all over the country. My sister in New Orleans and me in the west coast. I love traveling. I love exploring. I want to see more! I need money!!!

Torn between going home in a couple weeks but also can't wait...

When I stayed with my relatives in Torrance, my aunt, uncle, and cousin greeted me by all wearing the Boston gifts I had sent earlier this year. haha. my aunt and uncle both wore bu tshirts and my cousin was wearing a redsox shirt and bu shorts. And since I was going to Hawaii, my uncle kept playing hawaiian music in the house and car and wore the flanel shirts as well. haha, how cute.

doctor?

After a weekend of family and watching my sister enter medical school, it kind of slapped me in the face what I'm missing out on. Since I was young, I had always wanted to be a doctor. A dentist, to be more specific. Mostly because I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps and get the approval of my parents, but I think also because I knew I was helping people. Listening to the speakers at my sister's white coat ceremony made me feel guilty for choosing a different route. Lives will be at the hands of these people who are now entering med school. This white coat symbolizes the trust, power, and responsibility that all doctors possess.

I on the other hand, have become lazy and chose an easier route. Since science classes, especially bio, seemed too difficult for me to just fool around and get a B in, I opted out to another route. Not that business classes does not make you study. But I defintely work less than fellow students who are following the medical route. My dad even joked that I could switch to the dentist field if I wanted to. I still have time... UGH.

I thought I was supposed to know these decisions before my senior year.

coffee

savior or devil?

it colors your teeth and is a bad combo to your breath with kimchee.
if "supposedly" keeps you awake



why has america become so dependent on coffee. what happened to good ol sleep

i've realized that caffeine, especially espresso doesn't kick in for me for a good 8 hours so this may be the reason why I have insomnia. damn this addicting stuff

to eat or not to eat

Why is soooo hard not to eat bad food? I know it's bad... I know it clogs arteries.. I know it will add to my muffin top... but I also know it just hits the spot.

Something a salad or piece of juicy fruit cannot do. Grrrr. I thought it would be easier since I'm not hanging out with people so I wouldn't have to go out and eat. But still... dayum. Damn the convenience of fast food

Racism

Is it racism if it's the truth?
If some people live up to their stereotypes, and not just one but many, is it not accurate to call them out for what they are?

For example, in my time in Sunnyvale, I have been surrounded by Indians. Of course they're friendly nice people, but they sure do live up to the stereotypes of being smelly (like curry), not willing to give bargain (stupid taxi driver), and are mainly engineers (I'm in silicon valley and 80% of the people I see in this area are Indians). Not to say these are all bad qualities.

I'm sure Koreans live up to their stereotypes of being stubborn, smelling raunchy (courtesy of kimchee), smoking a lot and loitering around. I am guilty of all and so I'm not going to take offense if someone calls me Korean because of these traits. I understand that some people WOULD be offended because of this but I think that if majority of Koreans are like this, that you know what? Just deal. That's who we are and even though you don't have ALL the traits, you are still what you are.

Refresh

Awww. Going back to boston this past week... is exactly what I needed. Seeing my family, sleeping in my bed, getting to just talk and be with all the wonderful friends in Boston. Man, I'm going to miss being home for the next two months but it will be exciting coming back and seeing the changes.

Sometimes, life needs a refresh button.

Fear

Lately, I have been swimming. 50% because it's exercise other than boring running, 35% because I can tan while doing it, 15% because I have nothing else to do with my time and it gets me away from my laptop/k dramas.

The pool at the apartment I'm residing at is a decent size. I have rarely seen anyone else in it and find myself always swimming alone, which is fine by me since I like my space and I don't have to look out for anyone when I do laps. Also, I wear goggles since I have contacts and want to be able to see underwater and not run into a wall.

Two days ago, while doing the front stroke, I was looking at the bottom of the pool (only goes to 5 ft) and saw a black dot. As I moved closer, I realized that there were multiple lines attached to the dot and then to confirm my suspicions, I realized it was... yes.

a spider


EEEK!


If you have ever asked me about my nightmares/fears, you would know that I am deathly afraid of spiders. I have only one outstanding recurring nightmare since I was a kid which is that I'm stuck in my house, barefeet, with millions... no bajillions of hairy freakin tarantulas covering the floor, ceilings, and walls and all crawling towards me. I run away and open the door to see a ginormous mother of a tarantula with it's 8 beady eyes all looking at me with hunger and fangs covered in drool. So basically I have to choose between the armies of tarantulas to step ontop..with no socks... or the one friggin umma one. UGH!! blerg!
If you are with me and see a small whatever spider, I most likely won't react like someone who is scared. But inside, know that I am terrified and crying like a little girl.

After I saw the spider in the pool, and confirmed (it was a daddy long leg btw), thoughts started rushing to my head like OmG! the spider has come to get me. I can't swim above it or else it will release itself from the floor and float to me and attach itself to me. From then on, for the additional 20 or so minutes I was in the pool, I never had my feet touch the floor in fear that the spider was following me from the bottom of the pool and would immediately bite me as soon as I let my meaty toes hit the floor. I also proceeded to never look at the spider again, except for from my peripheral vision.

When I was younger, I woke up one day and sat up, only to find a spider crawling across the pillow that my head had been lying on merely seconds before. I screamed like a pansy and ran for my parents' room and yelled to my dad; "DAD! SPIDER!! DAD!"

I tried to wikipedia it just now to write some more interesting facts about spiders but I lasted 4.5 seconds on the page because there were too many pictures.. soo friggin scary. How can anyone like these hairy gross crawling things that have poisonous species, 8 eyes, and types that can jump... ereggegreageageragra. gives me the heebies jeebies

Being an Adult

If you watch movies that portray the times from the 60s to 80s period like:



You'll notice a common trend. You're officially a man or an adult once you are 18. The kids in these movies are allowed to leave home and become their own person once they're 18. How come? I guess we matured and grew up quicker long time ago but now, it takes us longer? Aren't we still pretty immature at 18? I know I was. I turned 18 the summer after my senior year of high school. I still tied my shoelaces with two loops, I ate dunkaroos, I played crazy arcade and counterstrike, my mom still made all my food and I had no idea what I wanted to be.

In some cultures, adulthood reaches an earlier age. In some parts of Africa, you reach adulthood at age 13. 13!!!! WTH!! You're still losing baby teeth then, that's when we were in what... middle school? Crazy. Why does the world force us to grow up so quickly? When I was in my late teens, I couldn't wait to be an adult and do all the things I wanted.. but I realized at age 19, when I was no longer a teen but a young adult, how sad it is that I wouldn't be able to do everything since I was an adult, and not a kid. Meaning, I would now have responsibilities and now had a crapload of more rules I had to abide by.

Kids... we're just as scared as you are. Adults have so much more to learn and to be scared of.

I'm nearly 21 and guess what... I still play video games, my mom makes my food when I come home, I tie my shoelaces with one loop but sometimes I go to my old ways (it's just easier!), and I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what i am going to do after college.

Imagine it being as easy as a switch.
Click! we're adults now. We know everything.

I officialy am the owner of my own new car. Chyeah Baby. Honda Cr-V. Took 2 major accidents, 2 speeding tickets, and many scratches to my dad's tires to finally let my parents see what a good driver i am and finally get me my own spankin car.

the whole process of buying the car was somewhat intimidating. My dad basically handled everything with me sitting there listening and after each day at the dealership, he explained how you have to work from the minimum up instead of the msp down. Handling all the paperwork and working the prices and dealing with insurance, I had a headache. Wow! When will I have to do all of this? I hope they invent a youth formula so that my parents stay alive til I pass away so that they can always take care of all of this. I always act very independent around my parents, letting them know I'm my own woman and that I'm an adult, but I truly love and indulge in all the babying they do of me. As much as it is unneccesary for my mom to make fresh fruit juice everyday and for my dad to check plane tickets for me and do my tax reports, I will honestly miss it all when they eventually stop doing it. That's when I'll have to either learn it myself, or find a man who can do it all... hehe jkjk...

Peter! Take me to never ever land!!

Good Host

Finally I am in the west coast.
I realized the night before that I actually have to go back to Mass before my birthday to renew my license because I was dumb and didn't realize that my license expires on my 21st birthday. Frig... this summer is hella expensive. But let the festivities begin... july 8th.... PARTAY!!!

So. After a long tiring day, I realized what a pain it is to be a good host. Not only do you have to pick up the friend at the airport, paying for tolls and gas, you also have to drop everything in your life and entertain your guest too. I'm usually always the host to people since I'm always in Boston @ stuvi hosting friends or at my home as well. I'm so used to it because I usually enjoy hosting people because that's just how I roll. I'm more of a care-taker than a person who gets taken care of.. except by my parents and my future b friend :-)

but i realized what a burden it feels like to be the guest. For people to plan out everything to do for you and go wherever you wanna go and basically be chaueffeurs.. man. it sucks. And these people have to do it again and again as countless people come to visit LA and have all similar friends. Man. what a drag. Well, I guess this is part of friendship.

It was weird leaving Boston. So many people leaving... some things staying the same. Most of the seniors if not all are not really doing anything. None have jobs really and most are just bumming around. It's kind of sad. I would be scared out of my mind if I didn't have a plan. I always need a plan... God has big plans for me.. don't you?

amigos buenos

What does it mean to be a good friend?

Does a good friend cheer you up while you are down?
Is a good friend someone...
-who is dependable and someone who you can call when you're in trouble?
-who makes who laugh?
-who you can relate to?
-who goes the extra mile to do something nice for you?
-who is caring and thoughtful and remembers that you have an exam the next day?
-selfless and tells white lies only when needed?
-who will stay up with you talking until the sun comes out?
-who is there for you when you are throwing up dinner?
-who will order Chinese because you are craving it?
-who will let you eat the extra piece of cake although you only had a bite?

I can't say that I am a good friend or a bad friend. I am inconsiderate at times. I offer physical services and things but sometimes I feel that I lack the mental capacity and social abilities to really connect with people. There are people who you'd think would be a good friend but turns out not to be. I hope I can overcome that fake image and be a good friend externally and internally. I have learned to care about my friends a lot and it shows through the lengths I go to get them something to make them happy. Now I must learn to do this nautrally and be confident in maturing my relationships.

marathon

marathons.... marathons are an accomplishment to achieve. not only is the event a big thing, but the preparation to get there is intense. people train like 6-8 months in advance because it is such a big race. at the begining of their training, the runners run shorter distances but basically run everyday. as weeks and months go by, the person starts running a little more each day.. 6 miles...7 miles... 8 miles.... now they're in double digits for their daily exercise. Near the big event, the runner never actually runs the whole 26 miles but runs close to it and than saves their strength for the big day. Each day is a grueling day of exercising but the runner has to keep going to get to their prize.

core is like a marathon. there are the down times where really, all we have to do is the homework which is reading and problems due everyday. along with those are workshops which are mini presentations for the four different classes. some have more preparation than others and usually my team meets up everyday after class to work on these workshops. as the business plan comes closer, the workshops have extremely been getting harder to accomplish because they consist of more calculations, research, thinking and contacting outside people. the week before business plan is known as hell week. teams will literally spend 24/7 together cramped in study rooms doing calculations and writing the 100+ page business plan together with all the research organized by citations and appendices. people will hock up on sugar and energy and camp out at the meeting room and not shower. but.. oh no! when the business plan is to be due on that monday afternoon, we are not done. the following week... oh yes! all 4 finals!!! my question is.. when do we have a break? a break to study? a break to mentally break down??
and after the finals... what next? done right? thats what finals means right?? NOPE. then the following week, we have our final presentation of our project and business plan which is a 20 minute presentation of our company and product and all the work we did over the semester in one dinky little powerpoint presentation. then it is the end. the goal we have been striving for all semester.

in this way, core is like a marathon. with a couple of extra races added in

mentor

Last night, or more like this morning, I had a nice long talk with one of my friends. I haven't had a real heart to heart in a long time but I really felt like I had to get stuff off my chest and we shared and talked for so long that we didn't realize that it was 4 am already. that's the best feeling.

After talking with this sister, I realized a couple of things.

I have this issue with money and relationships. Ever since I was young, I always gave money to friends. I wouldn't think of it as paying people to be my friends, but I would buy cookies or chips for them at lunchtime. Now, I tend to just spoil people with gifts and meals. I've come to realize that this is because of insecurities in my friendships and relationships. I never thought it was wrong to want to spend the money I had on those I liked. Even my parents would criticize me but for much less things, like buying a $30 birthday present for someone. Once I came to college, I came to realize that people didn't need to spend money to really enjoy each other. As much as I realize that eating is a very common fellowship to do, especially for us BU girls, I realized that we don't have to be fancy and eat 5 star restaurants, though sometimes that's not bad. I need to become a better stewardess of money and learn to enjoy friends without having the need to spend money.

I also realized that I may need a spiritual mentor. Someone who could help me with my struggles and especially help me to grow as a Christian woman. I already have one person in my mind. In reality though, I don't know if I have time or if she will even say yes so I don't know if I should try or not. I'm very confused these days.

I need to learn how to pray more emotionally and passionately. After spring break, I realized, Korean Americans are too prideful. Humble us God. Rub some dirt on our face. Make us realize that we are not that cool.. we buy fake coach purses for goodness sake.

A new leaf

I'm trying this new thing. Morning prayer. Everyday (except Sunday), 7 am prayer. A group of us go to CAS and have a daily devotion and group prayer. I thought the idea at first was ludicrous seeing as I have 12 pm class and wished so much not to have 8am core classes.

I went through my first week last week. It actually... was really nice. To wake up and go and talk with God and just to be up and running so early. It feels good for the soul although I am physically tired. Although, it's nice to have people to share that with and who keep you accountable.
Half the mornings, I woke up groggy and just guilted my way to going to prayer. "If you think you're tired, think how tired Jesus was when he carried the cross. Did he have a choice?" Ouch...

I can only hope to keep this new lifestyle going. making myself go to sleep before 1:30 (today is an exception) and getting 5-6 hrs of sleep a day. It started the worst week for me since I had a major presentation last Friday and four midterms this week. But a guy in the group said that time with God can't always be convenient for us. We need to make an effort to want to grow spiritually and why not start off your day with a big heap of Jesus with some OJ on the side. I'd like one order of that please!

Summer or Winter

Which would you rather want? A nice cabin in the mountains for a time to getaway by the fireplace during the winter and go hit up the slopes or a nice beach house by the sun and water and go swimming whenever you want?

Both have their pros and cons. I've struggled with this choice since I am an avid snowboarder yet I do love the occasional swim at the beach. When I get older, I figure I won't be able to snowboard anymore though but also, being in the sun too much will give me skin cancer and make my skin a leathery material. I can either enjoy the nature and quietness or the warmth and ocean waves.

What do you think?

Why I Love Boston

Boston is the best city to be in if you love sports. Red Sox rip on the field, Bruins dominate the ice, Celtics own the courts, and Patriots (usually) dominate the grass. Not only are our sports' teams awesome (Congrats Celtics-NBA champs 08), our fans are crazy too. This is how TD BankNorth became "The Jungle" and Sox fans became known as "Red Sox Nation." Outsiders may find it annoying and crazy, but I think of it as passion. Only will you find these zealous Boston fans rioting in Kenmore square in the wee hours of the night when the Red Sox won the world series.

I love New York???!!! Heck no! I love Boston cause it's awesome. It has the excitement of a city yet not all the craziness of the ant race in New York. In this way, you can enjoy the calmness and beauty of the place. There is much history lying in the area and much history being created as well.

There are 40+ colleges in or surrounding Boston. That gives all the more incentive to attend one of these fine schools because not only can you make friends with your classmates, you can easily mingle with other campuses as well (Hey, who wouldn't want to meet the next Bill Gates at Harvard?). You can travel to Harvard and rub John Harvard's left foot for good luck. You can go see the gorgeous campus of Boston College (wonder why it is called Boston College when it is located in Chestnut Hill?). You can check out the musical talents of upcoming stars at Berklee then walk over to Chinatown for some dimsum. My point is, everything in Boston is so accessible and closeby that the city is your oyster to explore. It is full of little hole in the walls and nice fancy smancy restaurants as well. The more "real" celebrities grew up in this area, including Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Jay Leno, and Ben Affleck.

Only cons I can tell of this haven are: the tee and the parking and the lack of nightlife or 24/7 places. Other than that, can't say much else. Boston is so cozy.

On these cold winter days like today, some clam chowda would be wicked nice.

The beginning

Welcome to my first blog post. I created this because of my hw assignment for core. Yay!